The Summer Body Image Struggles are real.

It’s here, the official days of summer. The days are getting long, the heat is turning up, the kiddos are out of school, you’ve spent the $10k on the family vacay, and you’ve realized, “shit, I have to be in a bathing suit.”

You then go and grab your swimsuit stash and start trying them on. You hate Every. Single. One. Of. Them. You hate how they look, how they feel. And you sit in your closet sobbing because nothing fits right and you feel, “disgusting.”

Then the voice, while already loud, turns up the volume.

“You are going to be the whale in the pool.” “Nobody wants to see your pasty legs.” “You might as well just buy all muumuus because you are a cow.”

And on. And on. It’s brutal. The anxiety increases.

Summer has its own special kind of body struggles and I think it’s time to address them. So if you are feeling overwhelmed or uncomfy in your body this summer, you are not alone.

Why summer struggles hit the hardest:

During winter and spring (in most areas of the country, not AZ where I am) most people are fully clothed. Sweaters, jeans, lounge pants, athleisure, is the norm. Then once the temps rise, the amount of clothes falls. More people are wearing less clothes and you are reminded of your own body.

With series releases like Love Island, a summer staple, you are exposed to young 20-somethings running around in string bikinis with zero cellulite or body fat.

Also, you walk the aisle of your fave clothing stores and they are filled with short shorts, tank tops, bikinis, and self-tanner.

Then, there is the plethora of IG fitness influencers trying to convince you that you need to lose weight and shred down. Diet culture LOVES the summer because it gets to prey on your insecurities. And if I am being honest, the “Summer Shred” is something I used to promote in my company. GUILTY.

And great weather means pool parties, backyard barbecues, water parks, perfect opportunities to compare your body to others.

And what happens, the old thoughts prevail. Cue the closet meltdown into a mountain of swimsuits and shorts and you are in a full-blown spiral. Your inner critic says, “Hold my Mai Tai” and convinces you that you might as well lock yourself in a dungeon for the season.

You are not mentally unstable, you are just replaying the unrealistic expectations we put on bodies in general, that gets heightened as the temps rise.

So what do we do?

First off, I think it’s important to recognize that our body image is usually an indication of how safe we feel in our bodies and in our environments. It’s less about what you look like and more about how accepted you feel. Which is shitty and true, because historically we’ve accepted smaller bodies over larger ones.

If the idea of your summer body is causing heart palpitations in the wrong way, it’s because your brain is trying to keep you safe from potential rejection. The awareness of this alone can help you feel less of a POS and more of someone who can take control.

Here are other ways you can enjoy this summer, in this body, and be present with your family, rather than in your head.

1. Find the clothes that make you feel good. I am LOVING the clothing designers who are making these FAB one- and two-piece swimsuits that aren’t the singular one-piece with skirt attached that our mothers wore. The designs are not only comfortable, they are, can I say, still sexy, colorful, and cute! While, yes, we are trying to move toward comfort over aesthetics, getting both in one is GREAT.

2. When you are trying on summer clothes including swimsuits, turn away from the mirror. The goal is, can I move, shake, and drop in this piece of clothing? Ask yourself, do these shorts allow me to breathe, walk, and sit comfortably? On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being constant, how often will I adjust this swimsuit for it to “fit perfectly”?

3. Curate your feed to something, anything other than half-naked traditionally accepted bodies. Puppies, taxes, hell, even the guy who sells designer urns, anything that will not cause you to compare your body to others and/or make you feel bad. If you feel a gut reaction to a post, it’s a good sign that you should mute or block it.

4. Notice when the critic gets critical. As I mentioned, that inner critic turns up the criticism as a way to avoid rejection and pain. If someone “rejects” you because of your body, they do not deserve to be in your life. When that critic pipes up, be aware of it without judgment, thank it for its vigilance, then remind yourself that you only want people in your life who accept all of you.

5. Add in a grounding activity to bring you back to the present (I love square breathing or simply soaking in the sun) and then we move forward with something you want to focus on instead.

6. Practice body respect or neutrality. Often at this point, the author is going to tell you to practice “positive affirmations.” That author is not me. I prefer body respect or neutrality.

What this sounds like is a FACT, not a fear or fantasy. Here are some examples:

• My body loves swimming and playing with my kids

• My body deserves sunshine and walks in the sand

• My discomfort is learned and does not have to be my reality today

Remember, the whole point of this life is to enjoy. Move away from appearance and aesthetics, and be present in joy, experiences, and memories. As a DINK I don’t know this personally, but I hear those kiddos of yours grow quickly. Don’t miss it because you are in your head about how you look. Catch the negative thought and then come back to the present.

Extra credit: then in that moment, find 3 things you are grateful for about the summer and that moment.

Summer body image struggles are no joke. But they no longer have to ruin YOUR time. Your summer body is ready for summer, TODAY. Why? Because you are human and your worth is in your existence, not in your bikini bod.