Do This to Stop Your Unwanted Behaviors: 7 Steps to Lasting Change
Have you ever struggled with behaviors you desperately want to change—binge eating, over-exercising, negative self-talk—only to find yourself stuck in the same cycle? It’s frustrating, discouraging, and often leads to self-blame. But what if those behaviors weren’t just bad habits? What if they were actually protective mechanisms your brain developed to help you cope?
Rather than fighting these patterns with guilt and frustration, it’s possible to change them through curiosity and compassion. By understanding the root causes behind unwanted actions, a new path toward lasting transformation can begin.
Step 1: Recognize the Pattern
The first step in change is awareness. Identify the behavior that is no longer serving you. Describe when it happens, what thoughts or emotions precede it, and what the outcome is.
For example: “I always binge eat at night after a stressful day.” Instead of immediately judging yourself for this, pause and observe. What is really happening in that moment?
Step 2: Tune Into Your Body
Behaviors are often responses to physical sensations. The body keeps score of past experiences and reacts accordingly. Where does discomfort manifest when the urge arises?
Paying attention to physical signals helps uncover deeper emotional triggers.
Step 3: Get Curious, Not Critical
Instead of asking, “Why am I like this?” shift the question to, “What is this behavior trying to tell me?”
Shame shuts down progress. Curiosity opens the door to understanding. Every action—no matter how unwanted—has a function. Is it protecting you from stress? Providing comfort? Avoiding an unresolved feeling? The answers are there when you allow yourself to look deeper.
Step 4: Identify the Root Story
Unwanted behaviors are often rooted in past experiences. Ask yourself: “How old do I feel when I act this way?”
For many, these patterns can be traced back to childhood. A person who feels compelled to restrict food and control their body may find that at age 12, they experienced rapid body changes, societal comparisons, or self-worth tied to appearance. The unconscious mind clings to past experiences as a survival mechanism.
Step 5: Reframe with Compassion
Imagine speaking to your younger self—the version of you that first developed this coping behavior. Would you shame a child for struggling? Would you tell them they aren’t good enough?
Of course not.
Extend that same kindness to yourself now. Recognize that this behavior was learned as a way to cope and protect yourself. It’s not failure—it’s a survival strategy that no longer serves you.
Step 6: Find a Healthier Response
Now that the root of the behavior is clear, ask:
For example: “Instead of binge eating, I will decompress by going for a short walk and breathing deeply.”
Small, intentional shifts compound over time. The goal isn’t to force an immediate, drastic change but to provide an alternative that nurtures the underlying need in a sustainable way.
Step 7: Take Aligned Action
Healing is not about achieving perfection—it’s about creating awareness and making adjustments. By consistently practicing curiosity, self-compassion, and alternative coping strategies, transformation begins to take root.
What This Means To You
Unwanted behaviors do not define you. They are simply signals pointing toward unmet needs and unresolved emotions. By embracing a mindset of curiosity rather than criticism, it becomes possible to break free from old patterns and step into a life aligned with self-respect, growth, and resilience.
Start today. Take a deep breath, tune into your body, and ask: What is this behavior trying to tell me? The answers might just lead to the change you’ve been searching for.
Want to learn more about this topic? Tune in to this episode of The Mindset/Mirror Connection Podcast!
Listen on:
Spotify | Apple Podcasts | YouTube
Sign up for the FREE Spring Masterclass!
Are you tired of...
❌ Starting over every Monday?
❌ Feeling guilt or shame around food?
❌ Struggling with emotional eating and restriction cycles?
❌ Thinking about food all the time but never feeling in control?
It’s time for a fresh start!
In this FREE masterclass, you’ll learn:
✅ Why traditional diets keep you stuck (and what actually works instead)
✅ How to break the cycle of restriction, bingeing, and guilt
✅ The mindset shifts you need to build sustainable food freedom
🎁 PLUS: Exclusive bonus for live attendees!
👉 Get early access to the 21-Day Spring Renewal Challenge at a special discounted rate!
This isn’t another quick fix. It’s a mindset shift that changes everything.
🗓️ March 25, 2025
⏰ 4PM PST/7PM EST
